Thursday, March 22, 2012

How To Be A Man: Make Covenant With Your Eyes

Where the eyes lead...the body follows.
Modesty. It's a HOT topic among women.  They debate over the length of their skirts, the size of their hair, and the amount of makeup on their face. They disagree about most every avenue of modesty except for one thing. Men can't control their lust. So they have to take it upon themselves to keep your libido in check. They've even gone so far as to insinuate that IF they fail to keep you from lusting, then they have sinned a nearly unpardonable sin! Now...WHERE would they get that idea?

"It's the woman's fault!" Men have been saying this since...well, the beginning of time! When Adam blamed Eve for the fall of mankind, he started the ball rolling, and the buck passing. We've been blaming our sins and shortcomings on others ever since...especially our wives or women in general. Have a problem with lust? Blame the woman. Addicted to porn? Blame the women. Sexually unsatisfied? Blame your woman.

Okay, here's the deal. It's time we "man up" and take responsibility for our own sin. Here. Look at what Jesus said:

Matthew 5:28 


28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Wait, what? Whoever does the looking with the intent to lust is the one who committed the sin of adultery in HIS heart? You mean, it's NOT THE WOMAN'S FAULT? Does this mean that every man is responsible for his own lusts and that it's not about how modestly the woman dresses? Well, yeah. That's kinda what Jesus is saying there. If YOU look to LUST then YOU SIN! But, what about those short skirts? What about those "painted hussies"? What about porn that's all over the internet and the sexually suggestive ads and billboards? How can we NOT LOOK? How can we NOT lust? How can we NOT sin?

In today's society, sin cries out for our attention like a neon sign!
Good question. What can WE do to avoid committing sin through the lust of our eyes? We can't blame the women anymore. Those poor dears are running themselves frantic trying to figure out how to keep you from stumbling in sin. We can't go through life with our eyes closed at the risk of running head long into a lamp post or coffee table and scraping our shins! And we all know what THAT leads too. The temptation to take the Lord's name in vain might become greater than our temptation to lust!

La la la la. I can't see you!
So. We can't make temptation go away. We can't avoid looking and seeing things. But we can CHOOSE not to lust. Go back up and read that quote from Matthew again. Go ahead. I'll wait. What did He say? If WE look TO LUST..." That means we can choose how we look at things! That young woman in the next next check out lane wearing the ridiculously short Daisy Dukes? You see it, but you don't have to lust. That mammoth sized billboard announcing the appearance of a certain adult movie star at a local gentlemen's club that reveals more than necessary? Yeah. Just keep driving. That pop-up on your computer inviting you to "chat" with a woman in your town? There's a reason there's a red "X" up in the corner. Click it.

Make the choice. Don't close your eyes and pretend you don't see. Don't blame your bad decision on the woman. Don't just give in because you're a "red-blooded, American male" and that's what you do. Don't act like it's okay. It's not. It's sin. And YOU will be held accountable for YOUR OWN SIN. No excuses. No scape-goats. No one else to blame.

I hear you saying, "It's not that easy! I've been struggling with this porn addiction or this over-active libido all my life!" I know. I've walked that road myself. And I'd be lying if I said I don't still struggle with it from time to time. BUT...I've made my choice. I choose NOT to lust. I've chosen not to fall into that temptation again. I've made a covenant with my eyes. Here. Read what Job said:

Job 31:1 (KJV)
1I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?

A covenant is a agreement...a contract, if you will. It means that you will do whatever it takes to fulfill your obligation to whom you made the covenant with. By covenanting with your eyes, you are making a promise that you will NOT let what they see lead you into sin. You are making a commitment to turn away from whatever temptation you eyes might behold. It means you will hold YOURSELF accountable to avoid falling into sin.

But you can't do that? Really? I thought you were a red-blooded, American male? You can do anything! Take charge of yourself! Bring your body into submission. Be A Man!

Okay, somewhere in there, I flashed back to the High School football coach. Weird. The pep talk it over and it's time to take the field. Who will win the conflict that wars within each of us? The enemy, that lustful temptation that so easily trips us up, is taunting us everywhere we turn. But we have a secret weapon...a play from the playbook our coach wrote Himself.

Matthew 18:9
9And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

See? How simple and utterly enemy-confusing is that? If the enemy wins over you because of your eyes by what you see...then cut out the offense! Now, I'm not suggesting you pluck out your physical eye (go back about five paragraphs to read why), but you can cut off the thing that leads you into temptation. If you struggle with internet porn...get a porn blocker and let your wife set the password. Trouble with the "gentlemen's club" advertisements? Find an alternative way home. Certain movies on HBO keeping you up at night with lust? Get rid of HBO. If you cut off the venue in which the temptation gets the victory over you then there can no longer be a victory! It really IS that simple!
To lust or not to lust, that IS the question! Now choose wisely.

And simple is something we men understand, right? It's not brain surgery or rocket science. You just choose. Will you lust or not? Own your choice...quit blaming others, especially women, and do the right thing. Be a man...a Man of God. Make the right choice.


  1. How is that working for you?

    Everything that you say is true. This is a man's battle. And he is accountable before God.

    But there is a lot more in scripture, especially about how we love one another and by that we are known as Christ followers by our love. If women dress to turn heads in church, it is not very loving. If I raise my sons to engage the battle and to be faithful to their wives, then I will also advise them against choosing someone who is vain, or focuses on the outward appearance. Women (and fathers) need to help their girls and young women how to dress in such a way as to not put a stumbling block in front of their brothers.

    The reason that I asked at the beginning, "How is it working for you?" is because I hear a lot of judgement. I have been in men's ministry for 20 years, and I was a younger man there. I always used judgement when I was afraid of something. I think that you are afraid that you are weak. And you are. We all are. That is why we need Jesus. And we need His grace to make the next choice not to lust.

    1. OK, the Lord convicted me that I didn't tell the whole story, and thereby didn't follow Gal 6:1-4. I was judgmental toward you, because I was afraid. When I was a new follower of Christ, I gritted my teeth, bit my lip, and was determined to do everything in my power to follow Jesus. I heard about the covenant that Job made with his eyes. I did it. A bible teacher challenged us to read 5 minutes a night before bed, I read 20. I wanted to be just like Paul, ... and David, combined.

      I was zealous to be acceptable to God. I wanted to be loved by God. I knew Jesus died to express the Father's love, in my head, but in my heart, I was afraid of Him. I tried so hard to be loved by Him, that I killed my marriage with legalism, causing my son the agony of a broken home, and later abuse by a step parent. But at the time I was doing it, everyone thought I was such a courageous example of a man of God.

      When things crashed, I realized what grace really was, unmerited favor. I saw that He is at work, to will and to do. I began to understand that He did what I could not. And now I get to do things with Him, that somehow turn out to be for Him.

      But I am not through my fear of God. I am afraid that I will strike a rock that I am supposed to speak to, of whack a bunch of arrows 3 times and not 5, and therefore be denied victory. What I don't understand about God scares me.

      In my mind, I know that only one covenant ever worked the way that covenants are supposed to work, and it was between God the Father and God the Son. The Abrahamic covenant didn't hold because Abraham/his decendents didn't do their part. I don't want to look at a woman with lust. I am afraid of the power of the temptress. God knows my heart. I need His grace. When my heart condemns me, I need Him. I need Him as Abba.

      God is good. That is all that I know.